Controlled Crying – How does it work, and is it harmful?

Controlled crying is one of many sleep training methods used by parents to help their child fall into a sleep routine. There are advantages and disadvantages to the method and also differing opinions on what controlled crying actually means. So how does it actually work and is it really harmful? Read on..

Contents hide

1 Introduction

2 What is the controlled crying method?

3 How does it work?

4 At what age is it safe to try controlled crying?

5 How long should you do controlled crying for?

6 Does controlled crying cause trauma?

7 Does controlled crying damage attachment?

8 What is the difference between Controlled crying and Cry it out method?

9 Does Tresillian recommend controlled crying?

10 What is the success rate of controlled crying?

11 What do you do if controlled crying doesn’t work?

12 What are the alternatives to controlled crying?

13 Advantages of controlled crying

14 Disadvantages of controlled crying

15 Summary

15.1 Reference List:

Introduction

You just gave birth. You’ve learned how to hold, feed, and swaddle your baby. And now, you’re ready to head home with this brand-new bundle of joy. You’re ready to cuddle them, give kisses, listen to their coos, and lay them down to sleep as you yourself crash facedown on your bed, exhausted. And then, suddenly…crying. Soothing. Consoling. Rocking. BreastFeeding. Anything to get your baby to sleep throughout the night. You’re exhausted so you turn to a commonly used sleep training method; controlled crying. But what is it? Does it work? Is it safe? And is it right for you and the baby?

What is the controlled crying method?

The controlled crying technique, sometimes known as controlled comforting, responsive settling¹, or the Ferber method², is a sleep training technique that parents have adopted to help their babies learn to self-soothe and get themselves to sleep.

How does it work?

Controlled crying is when a parent puts their child to bed, oftentimes still awake, and leaves the child to fall asleep on their own. The child is allowed to cry for short periods of time³, but the parent or caregiver goes in at intervals to help soothe and let the child know they’re safe and that someone is only a short distance away.

Don’t forget to always follow Safe Sleep Recommendations too.

At what age is it safe to try controlled crying?

The general consensus is that the age it is safe to try controlled crying is when your baby is 6 months or older⁴. Younger babies under 6 months should not be left to cry and should have their needs met.

How long should you do controlled crying for?

Controlled crying is when parents (or caregivers such as Night Nannies) lay the child down and then re-enter their room (if necessary) at intervals. These intervals start small, perhaps 1 to 3 minutes, and then increase as your baby settles. It’s suggested that parents shouldn’t let their children cry past ten minutes, especially without going in and trying to soothe and comfort them. It is recommended to only be suitable to try with older babies that are 6 months +, for as long as you feel comfortable using this method.

Does controlled crying cause trauma?

The controversy surrounding the controlled crying method is that leaving your baby to cry can potentially cause emotional and psychological distress. The AAIMHI, Australian Association for Infant Mental Health Inc⁵., believes the latter to be true – that a child needs to know they’re safe and supported and if parents aren’t next to them or holding them while they cry, these needs aren’t met. Other Studies⁶, however, suggest that sleep training is not harmful to babies and it is in fact helpful for the parents. Check out this article on 7News ‘Cry it out method used to teach baby’s self settling works and is safe, study finds’⁷.

When parents get adequate sleep, they’re better able to take care of their children and themselves.

controlled crying method — It really isn’t safe to try controlled crying with babies under the age of 6 months.

Does controlled crying damage attachment?

The short answer is that we don’t know. Some studies show that letting a child cry by themselves could cause psychological damage, leaving them to believe they’ve been abandoned, thus weakening the parent/child bond. When a child cries, their stress levels (and cortisol levels)⁸ rise along with their breathing and blood pressure. This stress can possibly cause issues with brain development or even later in life, anxiety. Other studies, however, have argued that no evidence has been collected that shows controlled crying causes any damage at all. In fact, this specific article⁷ mentions that babies left to cry for short periods of time learn to self-soothe at a younger age and are able to sleep for longer periods of time during the night.

What is the difference between Controlled crying and Cry it out method?

To some, Controlled crying and Cry it out are the same thing. This is where it gets confusing when looking up the different sleep training techniques; some overlap, some have different names but the method is the same, and some are considered the same when others consider them different. Confusing, right? Overall, however, controlled crying and cry-it-out aren’t considered the same sleep training method. Controlled crying is when you, the parent, lay your child down for bed and let them cry at increasing intervals before going into their room and trying to settle them. Cry-it-out means that you lay your child down to sleep and let them cry without going back into their room to soothe them.

Does Tresillian recommend controlled crying?

Tresillian⁹ does not recommend controlled crying. In fact, they consider the controlled crying method the same as cry-it-out. Tresillian recommends listening to your baby’s cry, learning what it means (whether they’re hungry, tired, cold, etc.), and then soothing them. This could involve patting them on the back, picking them up and cuddling them, or feeding them. You can read more about the services Tresillian provide in my article HERE.

What is the success rate of controlled crying?

The success rate of controlled crying is hard to pinpoint. Another article¹⁰ related to controlled crying has cited an Australian baby magazine study that resulted in 57% of parents who responded to a survey had participated in controlled crying. 27% had no success with controlled crying, 27% said it worked for a night or two, and 8% said it worked for at least longer than a week. That being said, this is one study among many that either support or opposes the controlled crying method.

What we also have to keep in mind is that the research isn’t easy to conduct because of the many variables associated with babies and their sleep, as well as how parents are actually responding.

controlled crying, responsive settling — There is no definitive evidence to suggest that controlled crying IS or IS NOT good for an infant’s mental health

What do you do if controlled crying doesn’t work?

If controlled crying doesn’t work, there are many other sleep training methods you can attempt to help your baby sleep through the night.

What are the alternatives to controlled crying?

The alternatives to controlled crying are the Cry-it-out method (though not highly suggested), the French Pause (taking a five-minute break from your child’s crying and then returning), and the “No Tears³” approach (going in to comfort your baby as often as you like until baby falls asleep). These are just a few, though as mentioned earlier, many methods are similar or called by different names depending on origin and culture.

Advantages of controlled crying

Baby learns to self-soothe, possibly at an earlier age.
Baby eventually sleeps longer throughout the night. This leads to parents being able to get more rest as well.
Parents learn to detach themselves a bit from their baby crying in order to take a moment for themselves.
Parents aren’t on constant call when their baby cries.

controlled crying, baby sleeping — Ultimately as parents, we want our baby to get a good night’s sleep, just as we want one too! It’s up to you what method you are comfortable using!

Disadvantages of controlled crying

Parents sometimes aren’t able to listen to their baby cry for even a short amount of time, which is part of the controlled crying methods.
May cause issues with infant mental health such as psychological damage due to stress and a rise in Cortisol levels (although there are no definitive studies to support this)
May cause an attachment divide between parents and young babies if baby wakes crying and parent does not respond.

Summary

Parenting is hard, especially within the first year as you, the parent, are learning to live on much less sleep than ever before. Sleep training isn’t a new concept, and it’s not a bad one. The idea that both you and baby will be able to go to sleep and thus be able to function better the next day isn’t unfounded. The real test is figuring out what is safe, what is effective, and what brings both you and your baby comfort. Perhaps it’s the controlled crying method, perhaps it’s the “no-tears” approach, or perhaps it’s something totally different not mentioned in this article. But whatever it is, the hope is that you and your baby are able to get into a routine that provides you both with a good night’s sleep.